Saturday, 8 December 2012

One Hundred Tweet Stories


#1 - 19th May 2012
The fly was turning inside his head for a while, a big fat fly. He fired it with a single shot of ink that burned the paper. Words catch up!


#2 - 20th May
You are queuing at the security check. The officer inspects your hand luggage with care. “Where do you go, Sir?” You smile. The day is 9/11.


#3 - 21st May
The monsoon came early this year, washing, flooding the streets. “Global warming” they said on TV but this land is not India. Not yet, Dude!


#4 - 22nd May
The entity, formerly known as P.K. Dick, came in my apartment, spoke with the cat and ate French cheese. Oh Sleepless Nights! But it was me.


#5 - 23rd May
His father told him in 2012 he’d be walking on Mars. Now he had to sell his collection of stamps from the spatial era on the streets of NYC.


#6 - 24th May
The Porsche has just badly hit poor Tom, who is too old for comedy. The trader is a bit annoyed. What’s your name asks the policeman? Jerry.


#7 - 25th May
Story end. You see? Time flows back when I push this time device. !Return! Device time this push I when back flows time. See You? End story.


#8 - 26th May
Japanese teens have a new game. They are aligned in front of you for the parade. Noises in the underground: the train comes. You jump first.


#9 - 27th May
The novelist starts a journey. One by one he will write 7 billion stories starting with you. At judgment day reply carefully to God’s email.


#10 - 28th May
Hello Kitty I’m Aaron trapped in your claws. Listen to my story. Your German kin showed no mercy in hell. I survived. Be kind, don’t eat me.


#11 - 29th May
The monk had copied the library in full while the world was going to ashes. Smiling to the screen, he detached his hand, send it for repair.


#12 - 30th May
Careful Son! This old computer is a bit weird. C’mon Dad I’m expert. Look, I press ctrl-alt-del. No Son! Who taught you? Lucif. Big-bang 2.0


#13 - 31st May
“Blonde” is a must read she told me, the novel of the century. How curious? I just bought it to write a story upon her. Oh Marilyn, forever!


#14 - 1st June
I paint using natural colors. Women scream when I am extracting their fluids with razors. Red is so beautiful! People do not understand art.


#15 - 2nd June
I’m good at writing shorts with powers of two words told the robot, as “ “, “Hello World”, “My name is Andy” and so on. Do you like my soul?


#16 - 3rd June
Despaired by the death of his love he summoned the ancient gods on the moor. She came back next day, prepared breakfast for him. With worms.


#17 – 4th June
I starred at Queen’s parade, under Tower Bridge. You preferred to gawk at TV eating pizza. I’m asking for divorce. There won’t be a jubilee.


#18 – 5th June
I hear the lute whispering softly notes over Marrakech’s warm nights. They travel with every soul into the desert. Flow my tears, I am free.


#19 – 6th June
“Poems by the pound! I sell rhymes for a dime! Who wants a novel for a nickel? Best buy! Epics, sci-fi: worlds in a bottle, on a tweet”. No!


#20 – 7th June
Escape from gravity! Brussels-South opens up a launch pad for low-cost space jumps to New Zealand, Patagonia. Price does not include O2 use.


#21 – 8th June
Today is go-live of our new Command and Control System. You did a fantastic job, achieved the goal to become expendable. Thanks. Go to hell.


#22 – 9th June
I was on my AppleCar watching iTunes, AirPlay driving safely, calling kids iHome. All was good until the software crashed. iDeath is so fun.


#23 – 10th June
The angels quarreled over my son in the Elysium. Jealousy was in their hearts. Human, too human Jesus: You will suffer for us, on the cross.


#24 – 11th June
The chef prepares molecular burgers within the mini nuclear fusion reactor of this trendy restaurant in L.A. Cooking is a great art, really.


#25 – 12th June
What’s wrong with you kid? You’ve got the same blood and DNA as us, the true humans. But you don’t get it right: double lungs, hearts, head.


#26 – 13th June
The death of the author was the used book’s title I bought in a creepy store underground. Since I am still here I guess I escaped disappeara


#27 – 14th June
Mom was looking after her glasses. Cold tobacco smell floated in the air. The cats ignored me. Returning home, after 50 years wasn’t so bad.


#28 – 15th June
Dad’s picture did not change over the years. I grew older than he did. Now, on his grave, I’m looking at him like a father for his lost son.


#29 – 16th June
As a young couple we worked hard to find our way. But after fifty years of an intense relationship with my pillow Samantha reached peak sex.


#30 – 17th June
I lead those who tramp into the darkness. My legion grows at every corner of the city. Souls ask where God hides. You! Yes. Join us to know.


#31 – 18th June
No recipe was coming out from words. How could he write an edible line without salt? Just to get rid of it he packed them into a junk story.


#32 – 19th June
My cat turns his back and sleeps of mousetrap dream. I’m awake and silly in whatever human dreams of. Both of us share brain power. So what?


#33 – 20th June
My cat teaches postmodernist literature at the Sorbonne, enjoys complicated love affairs, and lunches at Lipp. Nightly, he turns street cat.


#34 – 21st June
My cat kills lots of mouse, a need to play, not to assassinate. My neighbor posts videos on YouTube of naked girls with whom he plays a lot.


#35 – 22nd June
My cat is a superhero trapped under a soft fur, with strong appetite and endless sleeps. To get out of such aloneness he needs the password.


#36 – 23rd June
Marilyn felt broken inside by words never spoken. She invoked them on a letter for her analyst and took off for ever on the white empty sky.


#37 – 24th June
My cat has long memories. When my daughter came back after a year in the States, he sniffled, licked her, meowed a bit, and kneaded happily.


#37’ (Not published on Twitter) – 24th June
Most people perceiving visual illusions created by the brain feel sane and healthy, because they are told this is statistically significant.


#37” (Not published on Twitter) – 24th June
The law of large numbers, the trend to normality, creates the illusion of people sane, healthy in their minds, despite being all exceptions.


#38 – 25th June
My cat marks his territory and chases white rabbits all day long. When I see him smoking the hookah, I know something must be wrong with me.


#39 – 26th June
Your eyes are not enough. Twice on her majesty’s secret service day the man who loved me never dies. No spy with the golden gun from Russia.


#40 – 27th June
Mirror, mirror upon the wall, who is the fairest of all? Thou White Dwarf are full to bursting with beer and whiskey and the ugliest of all.


#41 – 10th July
What do you want? I was lost in translation between three languages, two countries, two jobs (official, secret), a daughter in the US and I.


#42 – 11th July
I was declared clinically dead, my brain waves flat, no heart beat,  nor breath thoughts emotions. Really? I testify a corpse can still cry.


#43 – 12th July
The cartel’s priest was chopping heads in honour of Holy Lady of Death. The bodies were dumped into the streets of Mexico city for tourists.


#44 – 13th July
A group of German tourists armed with assault guns and flash explosives is enacting 1941 in a quiet Cretan village, killing all men over 14.


#45 – 14th July
Nicely said Mister Nobody. but you will not trump anyone else with your tricks. With a perfect shot in the eye clown Everyman killed Nobody.


#46 – 15th July
The sleepless man has been monitored extensively in the lab for weird interactions between brain states. A backup restore could be the cure.


#47 – 16th July
He drove the car in the wrong lane, took a ferryboat to the islands. No escape, you move on ! said the greek cop pointing a gun on his face.


#48 – 17th July
My last day in Paradise. You must grow up tells my father. Educate yourself! Go to work! Travel! You are such a useless moron. Get out Adam!


#49 – 18th July
My last day in Hell. You will learn to be kind, generous tells my father. Listen to people, heal, preach for good. Pay attention here Jesus!


#50 – 19th July
My last day on Earth. You’ve done a great job! says Father. I’m not convinced. Humanity had enough time to learn. Let’s stop the experiment.


#51 – 20th July
The corporations had sent their delegates into the elegant mansion for a two-days special event. At the end I managed to survive. Here I am.


#52 – 21st July
I found a new reason to operate in the company: implement an aggressive cost-cutting program. At the end, I will obliterate myself. Success!


#53 – 22nd July
These procedures enlighten us with poetry. People’s time get sliced in quanta. Managers talk of performance indicators. There will be Light!


#54 – 23rd July
The new managerial mantra: masters and slaves bound with a service level agreement going down to fishes and whips. You slaves love the whip.


#55 – 24th July
Cash flows evaporated under the sun of recession. The company is being sold on its naked balance sheet. Here come the vultures. Prey for me.


#56 – 25th July
This is tweet automation based on algorithmic software. Cute and to the point, no fuss. What the hell does it tell? My author is point dead.


#57 – 25th July
To get us tapping our mobiles every 10 seconds for a tweet is the closest we can get of a telepathic link. I go to sleep now. You shut down.


#58 – 26th July
Insects fly in militarized wings. We bioengineer competing species to repel them. The arms race puts a spell on us. Our choice ants or bees?


#59 – 26th July
Upgrading my MacBook Air to OS X Mountain Lion. Waiting for the download to complete. Software rimes my days and nights. Man in the machine.


#60 – 27th July
In relativistic quantum fields, a broken continuous symmetry leads to the emergence of the Cheshire cat’s smile. Thanks to Nature, I’m free.


#61 – 28th July
Mankind in its tremendous diversity of colors, smiles, energy, joys. We want to believe it touches all hearts. Welcome London Olympics 2012.


#62 – 29th July
She came later and took a picture of every footstep I had left on the crystallized white sand dunes. Thanks to her I survive in your memory.


#63 – 30th July
The capoeirista fought a death dance with the group of knives armed robbers who had caught us in a backstreet of Rio. Next time Beach Party!


#64 – 30th July
One % of the static noise seen on old television screens is radiation left over from the Big Bang. Living dead Einmischung. Sense of wonder!


#65 – 1st August
Home Tweet Home! Home please, open the door! Signal is dead. The men in black follow my steps. They are getting closer. Guns! Help me Tweet!


#66 – 2nd August
Locked in the panic room while enraged birds fly in flocks within my house. Why did I inserted that grumpy VHS tape? Why did I pressed Play?


#67 – 3rd August
This dizziness still haunts me, when I shut my eyes. I went to psychoanalysis to cure from vertigo. Should I let Madeleine be killed again ?


#68 – 4th August
The Dark Knight retires in Tuscany. Thanks to DC Comics’ Gods I can sleep like a baby. All is well that ends well. Psychoanalysis will wait.


#69 – 5th August
The man awoke on an desert island with paper, pencils and a solid amnesia. He wrote down a dictionary to unlock his memory. A full universe.


#70 – 6th August
The man awoke on Mars, freed from a car crash in France, felt nostalgia for those left behind. He thought: “There is a Future!”. Bye Roland.


#71 – 12th August
Josie had found a mother substitute, stretching her small arms around the robust waist, begging for kindness. Mother squeaked on her motors.


#72 – 13th August
Sulum Bey, father of the beautiful Flower Asi of Our Lady of Soho, jumped into the latest internet bubble, made a killing of Groupon shares.


#73 – 14th August
The crowd of Brazilians jumped out of the bus, engulfing Ciudad del Este covered under a thick layer of red dust. Frenzy shopping on-the-go.


#74 – 15th August
Flower Asi danced on the rooftop of the abandoned five-star hotel. People came from the shore. Candle lighted night of the Virgin. You pray.


#75 – 16th August
Good evening Sir. What may I serve you? The cosy mood of the Spectrum Bar on Sao Paulo reminded me of Captain Blake lost in the mist of WW3.


#76 – 17th August
Euston do Nacimento is an assassin who tries to earn respect and good pay to feed his family in the Certao. Life in Sao Paulo gets brighter.


#77 – 18th August
Now I see the world in black & w, high res, through a broad range of Mini Leica lenses and sensors grafted on my eyes. Black market miracle.


#78 – 20th August
Euston has an appointment at the Spectrum Bar with a respectable, bearded Englishman. Oh Boy! Such troubles nowadays since O Norte blew out.


#79 – 20th August
Prof. Mortimer welcomes the master assassin with a caipirinha. He is old-fashioned. Spies snoop around Spectrum Bar in search of good deals.


#80 – 21st August
Sulum Bey had to pay for his tricky game with MI6. His daughter, Flower Asi met her fate under the bullets of Sao Paulo’s hidden red master.


#81 – 22nd August
Nothing to eat, but hot air. Dust. Water rationed. Covered head to feet with white linen robes we wander under the dual Sun. Scorched souls.


#82 – 26th August
My cat is happy, home after two weeks left at a good hotel. Sleeps now on the black rug. And I wonder. What remains of the ruin of our love?


#83 – 27th August
Could be I’m snoring at night, could be I lost at gambling, or just because I’m black and you’re yellow or pink. Can’t we simply blend love?


#84 – 28th August
Another speed date: CV, then meet 5’ onsite, light coke, mark Y/N items. Disappointing. The random walk process doesn’t help to fall in love.


#85 – 28th August
They are two, covering each other’s head with their feathers, long splendid tails, black and green. I will shoot, kill paradise bird’s love.


#86 – 29th August
No one escapes his fate, said Euston after Flower Asi passed away. I will pay this later, much more. What a pity! I murdered my future love!


#87 – 30th August
In the begin there was void. Then flow and data filled the void. Structures, loops, forks, language. Gradually conscience. At the end:  Love


#88 – 31st August
No! she shouted. A bunch of dirty words hit me, killing my emotions. I just had to stop her shouting like a pig. I care so much of her love.


#89 – 1st September
If you start to believe, angels will take you to heaven. Euston listened to Father Nestor. “Yes, despite my wrongs, I know life means love”.


#90 – 2nd September
“After you get what you want, you don’t want what you get”. The old song kept playing in Spectrum bar. Folks, that’s how it ends. With love!


#91 – 3rd September
Can you feel the wind? My friend, I am your angel whispering. Follow me. Come to me. Open your heart. Sweet is the night. La notte etterna.


#92 – 4th September
It’s so cold here. We walk & froze on the spot. Wolves roam the night. My last match. Can I light a fire? Angels, free me! La notte etterna.


#93 – 10th September
The soviet engineer warned of multiple risks, bad design, decay, lost competition with the US. Nobody listed. Tchernobyl came. La notte etterna.


#94 – 29 th November
Three months in jail, no letter, no tweets, then Angels freed me, they just said “go!”, and here I am back in light. Ended La notte etterna.


#95 – 30th November
I saw three lights blipping on my internet wireless gateway meaning instant disconnection operated remotely. In my case it meant also death.


#96 - 1st December
Recovering the MacBook Air took three weeks with special software, then the Solid State Disk was replaced. In my case it meant back to life.


#97 - 2nd December
All is well that ends well. My memory saved from destruction, thanks to Saint-Algorithm. Now I can turn to my duty, write the book of signs.


#98 - 3rd December
Listening to “Man with a Movie Camera” soundtrack played by the Cinematic Orchestra, I don’t feel lost in a silent movie’s jazz translation.


#99 - 4th December
Listening to The Glorious Land by PJ Harvey I sit six years back in the deserts of Arizona and New Mexico raptured by a Navajo God. O there!


#100 - 6th December
One hundred ultra-short stories, this is what you have written so far? No ninety-nine, and this shot in your head make it the one hundredth!


#101 - 5th December
Morning walk in Parc Monceau; coffee at Deux Magots, Rive Gauche; lunch at Plazza Athénée, rue Montaigne; two fingers: stroll on Paris’ map!


#102 - 7th December
Let’s face it: you suck. What you do goes to the bin; everyone says you’re weird, and the hell is going to fall. I just want to be a friend.


#103 - 8th December
My grand aunt had her back bending like a broken bough; still, despite the intense pain she kept smiling and prayed for me. I felt stronger.




Credit: 'For the Birds', Pixar studio short movie (2000)

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Starting as a daily practice on the 19th of May this year, the publishing of 'fictional tweets' or ultra short stories constrained by the medium capacity of Twitter (maximum 140 characters, including spaces), was interrupted for nearly thr
ee months and resumed late November to reach slightly above one hundred as of today. My own constraint was that each tweet must be of exactly 140 characters, not less. This proved sometimes difficult to achieve properly and I had to play tricks with punctuation or wording. I cheated also a bit with the numbering of the 100th tweet; there are in addition two extras tweets that were not published on the 24th June. Time to package them all now into a single post until next hundred target is reached.



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